Balls will differ in size, dimple pattern, and even shape. But what fun is a round of golf if youve got nothing to laugh at. The scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, well, fer the love o jesus, heres a comb. Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off when one of them noticed his partner had just the one golf ball. Bob hope practically made a career of telling golf jokes, often poking fun at his own addiction to the links. The doctor came out and asked the husband what happened. Gifts to buy her 22 gift ideas for the dad who loves a good joke.
If you think its hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the course sometime. Anonymous golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle. And so many jokes have been told at tiger woods expense in recent years wait. I saw a golf ball in a block of wood a couple of years ago, and ive been wanting to make one ever since. He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head, and the golf ball lying right beside him. Here is a collection of golf puns, oneliners and other short funnies. What is the answer to how do golf balls get around 15. If you want to submit your golf jokes, click the link below. It would seem that if a person has hit a golf ball correctly a thousand times, he should be able to duplicate the performance at will. You can purchase the launch monitor plus get access to our insider membership and a copy of our bestselling book. Golf jokes funny golf jokes best golf jokes one liners.
View our exclusive selection of unique funny golf cards perfect for charity golf events, corporate golf outings, for golf tournament gift baskets or for the golfer in your life. This convenient travelsized pouch is perfect to keep in your golf bag, pocket, or car, so if you go a round and things get messy, at least your balls are clean. On the first tee, the man hits his drive pretty deeply into the rough and after finding his ball, realizes that a maintenance shed is immediately in his line of sight for his next shot. After a round of golf, a golfer loads his trunk up with his clubs but puts his extra tees and balls in his pockets.
Small enough to fit in a golf bag, yet big enough to clearly record and keep track of scores. Comedians have always made sport of golfer foibles. Published by anthony bianco the travel tart on january 8, 2016 january 8, 2016. Great golf jokes are the material for our oneman acts on the golf course and at the 19th hole and we can all use more of that so in that spirit, we offer the 124 great jokes to be found in the table below. If you want faster laughs, then check out the collection of golf oneliners and shorter funnies. Different brands and models vary by dimple design, core, cover, and construction. Golf jokes are a great way to break the ice at a dinner party and an even better way to make your golf partners forget about your score. Your next golf game will be a great experience with funny golf balls from zazzle.
Even though this is titled the worst joke in the world, you still clicked on the link, and youre still going to read this. In honor of fathers day honestly, whats better than a perfectly executed dad joke, the team here at lostgolfballs has compiled a list of 10 amazingly accurate and hilarious quotes on golf. The man backs away, a little distracted, then approaches his ball again. Fairy tale 1 a man was playing a game of golf, and on hole 16, he hit the ball right into a field of buttercups. I tested the prgr launch monitor both indoors and outside. Golf digest cofounder howard gills fun in the rough in 1957 was a rare entry, and a pair of golf digest joke books in the 1970s, edited by larry sheehan, stood alone on that. Pocket edition the handiest guide to playing your best golf right now the best tips from the best teachers, together for the first time in an easytoread.
Golf ball santa jim clements makes golf ball santa ornaments by carving the likeness of kris kringle into recycled golf balls. Despite rumors of its demise, the golf joke, it turns out, is alive and well. A group of golfers were searching for one of there golf balls out in the deep rough. Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them arent even reposts. It is a base the golf balls dont move if you get it to the hole. The green golf ball once upon a time, there was a young boy, and this young boy was having his 10th birthday. Two golfers are ready to play on the 11 th tee as a funeral cortege passes by. Thatll play means crappy shot, but we might be able to find it. Volume 1 golfwells adult joke book series by the team at golfwell isbn. But since i fell beneath its spell ive wandered through the fires of hell. What are the best golf jokes and do they make you laugh.
One remarked how nice it would be to wake up on christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round. Well, he found his lost ball two feet from the green. By its size i could not guess the awesome strength it does possess. Funny golf jokes and stories surfer sam and friends. The very first golf joke probably involved a scotsman sculling a feathery with his baffy and knocking some poor sheep senseless. Here is a collection of golf jokes that are sure to make you smile, and even laugh, a few times. The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. This golf gift is a musthave for the golfer in your life, use as a tracking. Golf jokes, quotes, sayings, humour, expressions, insults and puns for the bad golfers out there which is most of us.
To truly understand the importance of irish golf jokes, consider this fact. A retiree who was thinking of taking up golf went to the golf course and asked for lessons the pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green. That means that we have oneliners, twoliners and even a few threeliners. The golfer had lost his ball and was a little annoyed with his caddy. These pocket sized, hole by hole golf course guide books are completely customized with maps, yardage information, and green illustrations. Sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, joe said to a fellow club member, im not about to play golf with jim walsh anymore. Titleist cart 14 lightweight cart bag golf discount. The worst joke in the world the pink golf ball joke. Game of inches golf humor card on the ball promotions. I have used the ballzee pocket ball towel for several years now. The man replied, well, every time we have had bad sex, i put a golf ball in there. The first player stops, doffs his cap, and bows his head as the cortege passes.
This is a unique golfing joke book exclusively for lady golfers. Four oldtimers were playing their weekly game of golf. One fine day in ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. A man boarded a bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to, of all people a. Making sure you have the right equipment in your bag and making intelligent decisions about which club to use can get you off to a great start. Giggle golf par 3 golf towel, tee bag with 4 tees, and bling ball marker with hat clip. Study these, memorize them, and then start planning your next myrtle beach golf vacation.
He shakes his head, reaches in his pocket, and retees another ball. Whats the difference between a golfball and a nissan. Funny golf jokes the true rules of golf golfers who claim they dont cheat, also lie. Golf digest cofounder howard gills fun in the rough in 1957 was a rare entry, and a pair of golf digest joke books in the 1970s. A quick search of revealed an astounding 16 books of golf jokeseach one.
Second coming a man was addressing the ball when an announcement came over the loud speaker. Discover the titleist cart 15 bag, ideal for even the most organized golfers. In the second round of the 2014 tour championship by cocacola, rory mcilroys tee shot goes left into the trees and somehow lands in the pocket of a spectator on the par4 14th hole. In fact, i still have my first one and it is in use today. One of these great golf jokes will always raise a smile. Lot 8 trick golf balls jokes exploding, mist, wobble, streamer with free pocket calculator. The husband replied, i was teeing off and accidently hit my wife with a golf ball. Saint peter is looking in his book and can not seem to find the mans name. The emperor is stunned to learn that it was his son driving, coming to meet him, and that his son now lay dying in the wreckage. Why the hell didnt you watch where it went he asked. He gets up and hits one into the same woods and goes off looking for his ball.
Golf ball washer cleaner golfers best gift present souvenir idea. Apart from golf jokes, here are some of the wonderful and funny golf stories for you. A man and his wife were playing golf with another couple. Offer to keep score and propose a couple of fun bets, and you can really impress your fellow golfers, no. While on a golf tour in ireland, rory mcilroy was driving through some remote countryside when he realizes he needs petrol. Lets start with what we consider the best of our 20 great golf jokes mark of respect. Shop for books at and browse categories like young adult books, childrens books, mystery books, adult coloring books and cook books. The following selection of rotten, lame, and exhausted old golf jokes did nothing but produce an expression that would suggest that sports journalism might need more fiber in its diet.
I invented a new golf ball thatll automatically go in the hole if it gets. A man who plays golf to forget about work will soon go to work to forget about golf. Posted by jokedad january 19, 2019 leave a comment on i invented a new golf ball thatll automatically go in the hole if it gets within four inches whatever you do, do not carry them in your back pocket. Heres the dilemma, do you allow him to count the shot or do you take his ball out of your pocket and call the cheater out on his lie. If you often find the need to tell a golf joke or two, then youve found the right site.
With our whimsical golf themed humorous greeting cards youll have your favorite golf enthusiast laughing for days. Bad golfer golf jokes and course humour dictionary. On the way to the his sons office, the emperors convoy is struck by a speeding pinkgolfballcarrying truck. So, he drives his new mercedes into a petrol station on the edge of a small village. Will the gentleman on hole number one please not hit from the ladies tee box.
Do you take the cheating bastards ball out of your pocket, and confront him. This golf gift is a musthave for the golfer in your life, use as a tracking score card or yardage journal for up to 48 games. Myrtle beach is no joke when it comes to great golf on amazing courses. It was during one of these searches that i vowed to the lord above that if i ever earned enough money i would never set foot on a course again. The ones included here are longer jokes, more of the story kind of golf joke. Spread the humour clean golf jokes, funny stories and oneliners will and guys clean golf jokes, funny stories and oneliners if you watch a game, its fun. Books that you see the tour pros and caddies using swing man golf. The reason i dont play golf is because i was a caddie when i was. Even if youre new to golf, you can still look and act like you know what youre doing. Lets start with what we consider the best of our 20 great golf jokes. Golf digest once identified the republic of ireland and northern ireland as two of the countries with the highest number of golf courses per capita.
The rules of golf nice lag should be translated as lousy putt. Lowest prices on titleist golf bags at golf discount. The gorilla takes a few powerful practice swings and then laces the ball 450 yards, right at the pin, stopping about 6 inches away from the hole. When youre on the green, clean your ball and sink more putts. But mostly, it means the jokes here are of the short variety. A man got on a bus, with both of his front pant pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The drag force on the golf ball will then slowly increase as the speed increases. Well sir, said the man, the last few shots were grounders, so when you did hit the ball, it sort of caught me by surprise. As honest a golfer as he normally was, he picked up the ball and laid it next to the flowerbed to avoid destroying the beautiful buttercups. Books that you see the tour pros and caddies using youtube. I just finished the book titled learn to golf in twenty minutes. In my hand i hold a ball, white and dimpled, rather small.
A golf ball wellstruck off a driver is launched at about 160 mph and lands at about 70 mph. A couple of weeks ago, i played with new member who shot an even par 72. We have a special bundle here for practical golf readers from prgr. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of. After several minutes of laboring, the golfer who sliced his ball out into the trash declares he has found his ball, inciting another in his group to scream, you liar. Bob hope golf swindler mr angry golfing golfing priest golf below par. Clean golf jokes, funny stories and oneliners funny jokes. Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad. Heres the definitive guide to becoming every foursomes goto guy for jokes and hilarious golf stories. With that the englishman thrust his hand into his pocket and said, heres a tenner, go to marks and. In my hand i hold a ball, white and dimpled, rather small oh, how bland it does appear, this harmless looking little sphere.
Golf jokes golf jokes are a great way to break the ice at a dinner party and an even better way to make your golf partners forget about your score. Just click on each link and it will take you to that joke. Golf etiquette, golf ball crafts, golf range finders, club face, golf quotes, golf sayings, golf party, golf humor, funny golf arnold palmer golfer, florida golf, golf instructors, cleveland golf, golf trolley, golf quotes, golf humor, palm beach gardens, word of advice. Two lawyers, jon and amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Machat graphic designer and photographer and dennis golf and sports journalist trace the history of the golf ball back to the feather ball and to theories about what came before. They are a valuable marketing piece for your golf course as well as a classic souvenir for players. The guy hits a beautiful tee shot, 275 yards down the middle, leaving himself a 6 iron to the green.
Titleist cart 14 lightweight cart bag the titleist cart 14 lightweight cart bag features a 14way top, 11 total pockets, and lightweight materials to keep you focused on your game, and not your gear. Looking for laughs in all the wrong places golf digest. Well, the first hole was a straightaway par 4 of 450 yards. Four old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf. Well, a year goes past as they often do in jokes like this and the same golfer is out golfing on the same course at the 16th hole. Then the doctor says that explains the big knot on her temple and continued how do you explain this as he lifted the sheets showing the husband a golf ball stuck in her butt. I invented a new golf ball thatll automatically go in the. Get him a gadget that functions as six tools in one. The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one. We had fun during the round, so i asked him if he wanted to play next week. Smile at mistakes and laugh off shanks, after all, golf is a game of managing mishits. Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball. Apr 14, 2018 a man got on a bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls. Shitty golfers ball washer wipes funny golf gag for.
If youve been around the game of golf long enough, youve either told or heard your share of golf jokes. Women never gave up a golf ball that was lost somewhere in the trees and thicket and down through the poison ivy. If youre afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options. It is the kind of book i can grab and read a page or two and glom some mild entertainment from.
I invented a new golf ball thatll automatically go in the hole if it gets within four inches. Golf balls personalized and custom golf balls from top. Thus, the ball would be in this decreased drag zone for most of its flight, taking advantage of the phenomenon. When he finds the ball he sees the same little guy and asks how he is doing. Checking with amazon or a great usedbook site for golf joke books will give you many options. Stay ahead of the competition with more organization and storage. If the ball goes right its a slice, if the ball goes left its a hook, and it the ball goes straight its a miracle. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway.
Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders. After the 8th hole, amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th. These are a couple of highlights from the golf joke book two golf balls rolled into a bar. Similarly, tough break means way to miss an easy one. A quick wet of the inside towel material before starting your round and you will have a clean ball. Shop the newest golf balls, golf clubs, apparel and more from the top brands in golf. After the 8th hole, amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his. Novelty balls whacky clubs hilarious gags executive gifts unique prints golf games handy tools golf humor golf links home page. But weve come up with 40 golf gifts that can improve just about. Lucy moved to america from the uk and is currently a studentathlete at california polytechnic state university, where she is majoring in golf and minoring in continue reading blonde golf ball joke. His father thinking that it was an important day for his young lad, said to him, you can have anything that you want for your birthday.
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